‘Galavant’ S2 Eps 7 & 8 recap: In the name of love

Richard-Gal-Roberta Kiss
Richard is so happy to see Galavant is still alive! (Photo credit: ABC/Disney via Twitter)

Sigh…The end is near and Sunday’s “Galavant” left us hanging on the peak of an emotional roller coaster. “Love and Death” and “Do the D’Dew” had it all: romance, death, magic, resurrection, declarations of love, zombies, the deflowering of a 40-something year-old, a call to arms, heartbreak, and so much more. Basically, this was a really loaded hour of television. As always, we loved every single bit of it! Especially those killer duets. Since “time is of the essence,” let’s get to gushing.

Worried Richard, lovelorn Roberta, and guilt-riddled Sid rush Galavant to Neo of Sporin (Reece Shearsmith), a renowned healer with one of the most gleefully apropos names ever. When they first arrive, Gal is still alive. However, Neo ironically bursts into a tongue-twisting song emphasizing that “Time is of the Essence.” All of his unnecessary pauses (for a drink, to pass gas, etc.) and brush-offs are enough to make anybody hyperventilate. Even Richard is rolling his eyes at this guy. As expected, by song’s end, dear old Gal is practically deceased. Or as Sid puts it (in a much hoped for and giddily satisfying wink at “The Princess Bride”), our hero is only “mostly dead,” which means there’s hope! Neo gets to potion-making and “Galavant” delivers on another wished-for moment. Neo’s cure requires the gray hair of a virgin. Cue the unicorn and all fingers point to Richard, the show’s resident virgin. Once a hair is plucked from his beard, Neo’s concoction is ready and Gal gets a dose. As the elixir courses through Gal’s veins, we are given another scare.

Galavant wakes in limbo and is greeted by Death (Eddie Marsan). Gasp! To make things even more nerve-racking, Death sings a ditty entitled “Goodbye.” Geesh! Talk about a swan song. Fortunately, the number is not as morose as it would seem. After all, even dire times are full of humor. Chamber choirs of Gal’s buds and Death’s minions pop in and out. As everybody begins to bid adieu to nearly dead Gal, this almost begins to feel like a morbid version of the Van Trap children’s goodnight song in “The Sound of Music”. Just when you fear the worst, Isabella appears. Hallelujah! Galabella is together, even if it is only in spirit, it’s still better than nothing. She is worried about leading her people into war and could use Gal’s support. But she’s still pissed over their botched iAmulet call and thinks the “schmuck” can go die in a fart too. Once he realizes what has happened, Galavant refuses to follow Death. He cannot die. Especially not when Izzy thinks he hates her. He kicks Death in balls (Seriously, why does he still have those?!) and makes a run for it. Alas, True Love beckons Gal back to life. Huzzah! While Galavant is subconsciously dancing with Death, Richard and Roberta are conducting their own metaphorical tango.

Richard fears he will lose his Gal pal for good and then he will be all alone in this bleak world. Roberta gazes upon his sweet, silly, naïve face and assures him that he will never be alone, not when she’s happy to be by his side. As we saw in the sneak peek, Roberta pulls a “Notting Hill” and confesses, “I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy, over a dead body, asking him to like her.” (Thank you “Galavant” writers for giving us so many delicious moments like this. All we need now is an “As You Wish” nod and then we’ll really be over the moon.) Richard finally gets it and they both lean over Gal’s body to share their first kiss. Of course, that has to be the exact instant that our knight springs back to life. As agitated Roberta huffs, couldn’t he have held off for 30 seconds?! We’re happy and relieved for Gal, but poor Richerta! Meanwhile in Valencia, Gareth and Madalena are having their own relationship troubles.

As the devilish trio plots their war, Maddy accidentally blurts out that she loves Gareth. She means it professionally, like in a war-minded way, but the big lug is moved by her sentiment. Wormwood is already excited by the thought of planning a wedding and war all at once. But will Madalena be game for both occasions? Gareth seems to be more than ready, as his subtitled song suggests. After falling for the fickle queen, GareBear has learned how “Love Makes the World Brand New.” (Where can we find that sing-along bird graphic? It is adorable. Also, thank you for spelling out the lyrics. We love Vinnie Jones, but sometimes we need a little help.) Oddly enough, it seems that Gareth is the more sensitive of the two.

Later on, Maddy is packing her things when Gareth decides to add some of his clothes to her trunk. She snaps, “I don’t want your stuff touching mine!” Hmmm, could this be a euphemism from the frigid queen? Madalena is extra on edge ever since Wormwood started encouraging them to get married. He even pokes his head to mention available venues and she shoos him away. However, Gareth believes that Wormwood makes a good point. Wouldn’t it make sense for the King and Queen to be married? Gareth poses this question and bends down to tie his shoe as Maddy’s back is turned. She spins around, sees him on bended knee, jumps to conclusions and kicks him in the face. Whoa! Overreact much? Gareth knows better than to propose, especially now.

By day’s end, the quirky pair finds a unique way to communicate their feelings for each other. They stand before their army and express their love for one another through a rousing speech to their soldiers. It is weird, yet sweet. They really do care for each other, but falling in love is scary and they each have reservations. At least now they know where they stand. They’ll take it slow, so hopefully the misunderstandings and violent outbursts should cease. Indeed, love is strange, so very strange. With that settled, they’re ready to go to war! And they aren’t the only ones.

The people of Hortencia receive Wormwood’s save-the-date for their surprise attack (Big boo-boo, Barry!). Isabella announces that Valencia plans to invade them on Sunday January, 31 at 8 p.m., so set your DVR! This is why we love “Galavant” so much. Forget breaking the fourth wall, they just walk on through it and into our hearts. With the impending war, Hortencia is in need of a leader. Isabella is unaware of their leader-choosing custom, so she ends up being the one in charge of guiding their troops into battle.

As all warrior princesses do, she conjures up the courage to do what needs to be done. Unfortunately, her job won’t be easy. Harry shows them to their weapons room and it turns out that Hortencia has none. The room is full of chocolates and toys. That’s what happens when an 11 year-old rules the land. They will have to make do with whatever they have on hand, like pots, pans and snarky attitudes. Eek! We do not envy Izzy right about now. Hell, even Gal is able to scrounge up an army at the last second, with a little magical assist.

Gal has been trying to assemble an army from the start. Now that he sees Isabella is stuck having to fight her own battle, he needs that army more than ever. Coincidently, Neo has been testing spells out on dead soldiers, so he has a freaky zombie army all set at Gal’s disposal. Is this a healer’s lair or the Forest of Coincidence?! Eh, who cares?! As long as the odds are in our heroes’ favor. (Also, Gal makes this hilarious expression. Enjoy:#HairOfTheVirgin). Now that all armies ready to go, let’s forge onward, shall we?

As the second half opens, Gal & Co. make their way through the forest, in the night, in the dark, in the mist, in the perfect ambiance for an army of apparently slow-witted zombies. Well, they are half-dead or half-alive, so it is expected. On the bright side, they’ve taken a liking to Galavant, probably because of his dance with Death, as Sid points out. Gal isn’t letting Sid forget his regrettable accident wither. Sid will never live this down. How he can ever make this up to Galavant? It’s not like Hallmark makes “I’m sorry for accidentally killing you” and “Congrat’s on you resurrection” cards. For now, Gal is getting his revenge by constantly rubbing it in to Sid, which only makes the poor kid feel worse. But there are bigger problems at hand, like attacking Valencia.

The irony of this situation is not lost on Richard. Just one year ago, he was the baddie invading this land and my how things have changed. Galavant goes off to secretly scout the castle, or not so secretly, since the zombies won’t leave him be. Richerta is eager to have some alone time while Gal is taking care of business. Clueless Richard asks for one last bit of advice from Gal before his clumsy flirtation with Roberta begins. Thankfully, she spares him further embarrassment and plants a big old kiss on him. Richard’s got the clear green light and he can finally accomplish the goal he set for himself on his wedding night last year. They’re going to do it! And Sid is stuck within earshot. Yay for Richerta, but super awkward for poor Sid. Meanwhile, Gareth and Madalena are also getting battle ready.

In a rather tender moment, reminiscent of Robert Redford washing Meryl Streep’s hair in “Out of Africa,” Maddy shaves Gareth’s head as they bond over their love of war. There’s nothing quite like a war camp. These two are so twisted. As they get giddy at the thought of bloodshed, Isabella and Jester arrive at their tent with a plea to keep peace. Madalena asks for too much and practically wants to take everything Hortencia has. Izzy is about to cave, when Maddy insists on making the princess her new handmaiden, in charge of cleaning her crown. That is the last straw! Isabella has had enough. And nobody calls her “tiny-tot.” Jester and Gareth settle down to watch the catfight we’ve all be waiting for. Two seasons in the making and it is so worth the wait.

Karen David and Mallory Jansen strikingly smolder and stunningly shimmy their way through “I Don’t Like You.” The insults, the sass, and the clever one-upmanship are all so delicious. It’s like Disney’s delightful version of a rap battle. Plus, Isabella’s lady armor is quite fetching. In the end, Izzy drops a bomb and claims to have the bearer of the Hero’s Sword that will unite them all. Maddy is skeptical, but it’s still enough to make her worry a bit. Isabella leaves with an extra pep in her step. They’ll need to improvise and hopefully they’ll manage to pull off some kind of miracle. Either way, she succeeded in ruffling Madalena’s feathers. Prophecy states that the one wielding the Hero’s Sword will win and prophecies are always right. So the queen needs to find a sure-fire way to win this war. Cue the quick and easy solution!

Wormwood enters and announces that in addition to being a wedding planner and war instigator, he’s also a master of the dark arts, specifically, the D’DEW (hehe), which stands for “dark dark evil way”. This level of dark magic is powerful enough to control events (and tummy fat.) Gareth doesn’t like the idea of dark magic. Hey, if we’ve all learned anything from “Once Upon A Time,” it is that all magic comes with a price. She tells GareBear not to worry, she won’t mess with D’DEW, but we all know that’s a lie. By episode’s end, Madalena has signed over her soul, all for the sake of D’DEW. Yeah, this isn’t going to end well for the Queen. Maddy may not have her happy ending, but others are getting theirs wink, wink.

Richard and Roberta recount their passionate night of love-making with “Finally,” a glorious and hysterical homage to “Summer Lovin’” from “Grease” complete with an agreeable zombie choir. After three bottles of wine, Richerta got jiggy with it, and it was magical. The best part is that Richard tells Roberta that he loves her. Awww! Timothy Omundson and Clare Foster make a dynamite duo. We are loving all of their scenes together. This number is another Season 2 highlight. While they run off to have “brunch,” Gal takes another brutal jab at Sid for killing him and then heads off to see how he can rally his living dead troops.

It seems the zombies have lost their will to fight, until Gal starts to speak of love. That’s right! Love is always the most worthy cause to live and fight for. The zombie army is on board. Phew! When it is time to go, Richard is gung-ho for battle, but we learn that Sid has fled in shame. He has run off to seek redemption, especially after all of Gal’s pointed jabs. So Galavant dashes off to find his friend. Once he’s left, Roberta makes a confession.

Richard is excited to be a hero for a change, but she refuses to go into battle with him. She cannot fight by side only to watch him die a horribly painful and grim death. She wants him to run away with her. They can go to her cat-lady aunt’s farm and start a new life together. Richard cannot let Galavant down and insists on fighting, despite Roberta’s graphically grim depiction of war and her lack of faith in his survival. As Richard pulls up beside Gal, he says they better make this war worth the sacrifice. Their army marches forward, “For love.”

The episode closes with all three armies heading out to battle with a bleak reprise of the season opener, “A New Season.” Isabella clarifies that this has been “A Dark Season” all along, Madalena’s eyes turn red with the power of the D’DEW, Sid doesn’t know where he’s going or what he’s doing for redemption, Roberta doesn’t want to banish herself to a lonely life of solitude on Mt. Spinster, a somber Richard declares that they are in need of a hero, and Gal sings out that he’s on his way. If only Galavant knew that Richard is destined to be the hero of this story.

What did you think of these episodes, Galavanters? What were your favorite moments and songs? Can you believe we’ve already reached the end of this magnificent season? We only have one hour left to see how this narrative will play out. Will Richard unite them all as the prophecy foretells? Does wielding the Hero’s Sword reinstate King Richard’s royal title? Will Isabella’s family finally regain their rule over Valencia? How will Sid redeem himself? If Richard is the new big hero in town, then where does that leave Galavant? Will Roberta have a change of heart and return to Richard’s side? With all these teasers for an epic wedding, will any of these couples actually end up getting married in the finale? What kind of havoc will Madalena’s dark magic wreak? We still have so many questions, but we know one thing for sure: we don’t “Galavant” to end!

“Galavant’s” Season 2 finale airs Sunday, Jan. 31 at 8 p.m. on ABC. Be sure to tune in live, tweet along with the cast and crew, DVR it and watch/re-watch it by Wednesday night to give them a ratings boost, and keep spreading the word about this phenomenal show.

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